Today’s post is continuing to follow Courtney, over at Women Living Well, in her book club of her self-titled book, Women Living Well. This week, we are going to talk about controlling our tongue in our parenting, and then, briefly, we will cover the topic of schooling our children.
Our children need gentleness. We need to view them as tiny flowers, ready to bud. The best way for a flower to bloom is to tend for it and care for it. We feed it, nurture it, give it sunlight. We don’t yell at the bloom, and expect it to open.
It is true. I yell sometimes. I have been known to yell. Yet, every time I yell at them, conviction floods my soul. I know I don’t want to talk to them that way- and I know that is not the way God would want me to talk to HIS children. Yes, His children. They were His long before they were mine. More importantly, I know that they will learn to communicate the way that I communicate. I don’t want them to be “yellers”. I want them to speak with kindness and gentleness.
In order for this to happen, we must walk in the Spirit. We cannot expect to talk to our children with kindness and gentleness, truth wrapped in grace with love, without spending time at Jesus feet. In order to walk in the Spirit, we must be abiding in Christ. Our children are our fruit – and so we must be sure we are connected to THE VINE (John 15) getting the strength and nutrients we need from Him in order to produce the right kind of fruit – in their lives, and our own. We need to be sure we are practing patience.
I am often reminded that one day, my children will have children. I will get to see how I trained them. I know they may not do everything the way I did (thank you Jesus!) but they will do a lot the way I did. What am I placing in their lives as important? How am I speaking to them, and their daddy? How do I talk to others? I loved the verses that Courtney gave in her book. Proverbs has so much wisdom for practical daily living. We can know how to talk – or NOT to talk! – to others! We can talk with wisdom and understanding. I went through and underlined in my Bible ever y time the word wisdom was used – I used a yellow pencil. Then, with a red pencil (reminding me that Jesus blood covered this!) I mark the word fool or foolish (or unwise). I marked all the passages with the word tongue or about my words with a pink pencil. This helps me pick these verses out quickly in scripture. Trust me when I tell you, I need them often. I have put several to memory. These are the same verses I point my children to when they are struggling with their words.
The second thought Courtney covered this week was the choice of schooling. Wow, this can split a Christian room real quick! However, I don’t think this should be the case.Just like there are no cookie cutter marriages, there is no cookie cutter way to school your children. Your children are not my children. Their needs are different. I actually have a child with a form of Autism – so for him, there are a lot of therapies and special services we are able to get through the public school. With his transition and social struggles, it helps him to go to school every day. By bringing him home, we would not be working on those things as much. It is what is the best fit for our children right now. We also feel like we are training our children to be a light, and so, we want to set the light out in the world. However, there are many conversations we have had to have, especially with our thirteen year old, about topics that are not fun. For THIS PRESENT MOMENT though, public school is the right answer. It is the answer God gave US! We pray about this each year as we school our children, because just as our children grow and change, so do their needs. We know there may come a day when classical education, or homeschooling, might be the right option for us. Until then, we walk confidently on the path God has placed us on, and pray over, and choose to be a light, in our kids public schools.
No matter what, we need to remember that the way we raise our kids is a part of our act of worship of our Savior. Make sure you are keeping Him as the main thing in your parenting. After all, they really are His Kids, given as a reward to you.
Worshiping With My Life,